Upper East Side Baby - What's today?

It's slow goin' but I'm healin' ova hea!  Did I mention this place is like a 5 star resort compared to some of the hospitals in the outer boroughs?  I had shrimp scampi for dinner last night and a chicken quesadilla for lunch.  I'm perusing the menu now for dinner.  Will it be Chicken Francese or a Maryland crab cake? I can't decide.

I asked my parents to bring "colonoscopy cookies" for my nurses today.   If you know my Dad, you know he's all class, all the way, always.  When I started undergoing annual colonoscopies, of all of the advice my father bestowed upon me, this was the most important - "always bring the endoscopy staff a box of bakery cookies when you have your test.  They work hard and appreciate it" (and for Pete's sake, if I had their job, staring at the cheeks of strangers all day, I'd like a cookie, too).  There's no better way to convey appreciation than through sweets.  I think the staff got the Italian overkill message today.  Thanks Mom and Dad.

The past few days have certainly been an experience, to say the least.  I was stuffed into an MRI machine like filling into a cannelloni; stuck with countless needles; underwent a blood transfusion (hemoglobin number dipped due to chemo - they're staying ahead of the game, it happens); CT scan and so far, thank God, no surgical intervention necessary.  Oh, and here's a plus - my new blood thinner?  One injection a day as opposed to two.  It's like a vacation!

As a side note, if you've ever donated blood, thank you.  Your selfless act helped someone like me and I have no doubt, it meant life to them.  It was probably one of the weirdest experiences of my life - watching a strangers blood charge at me through a clear, plastic tube.  And being a child of the 1980's, it took me a few minutes to resign myself to the fact that it's 2012 and not 1985.   Calm down and keep healing.

I did have plenty of time to think and pray, and do a little internal house keeping.  The beauty of being as imperfect as me is that there's always room to learn and improve.

Sometimes we really need to dig and soul search to grow out of a negative situation - to get over that next road bump.  In my case, I found myself feeling hopeless.  In fact, I don't even know if I factored hope into the equation as a necessary component to overcoming a bad situation (huh? yeah).  How could I trust God but feel hopeless?  How can I say "God, I need Your help but I don't think you're going to help me."  I felt led to Joyce Meyer's website the other night and sure enough,  the top article was:  How to Overcome Negative Thinking and Live with Hope

Two points of interest from the article:

• "Hope is favorable and confident expectation; it’s an expectant attitude that something good is going to happen and things will work out, no matter what situation we’re facing."

• "Zechariah 9:12 (AMP) says, “Return to the stronghold [of security and prosperity], you prisoners of hope; even today do I declare that I will restore double your former prosperity to you.”

I want to be a prisoner of hope!

If you're like me, maybe you call yourself a "realist" to rationalize negative thinking, but  no matter what you call it, it's unhealthy and it's wrong.  I knew I had to radically and immediately change my thought process to honor God and receive blessings, especially at the timely moment God opened my eyes.   We had spent 6 hours on a slow drip blood thinner in an attempt to get my port to function properly.  We had up to 2 additional tries at this method before we would have to throw in the towel. 6 hours of praying and at the 11th hour, my eyes were open to hope.  "OK God.  You have my best interests at heart.  I'm hoping and expecting this port to work if that's in my best interest and will not harm me."  My night nurse brought his wares and within seconds the port was doing its job.  I was overwhelmed with joy and tears!  Oh sweet success!!  It's been two days and so far, the port is cooperating but more importantly, it worked the moment we needed it to - when finding veins were becoming too difficult and I needed a transfusion.  God's always right on time.  I'm hopeful the port will continue to work, even with the occasional blood thinner reboot.

Psalm 31:24 - Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.