Forget Edna - Just call me Morty.

On October 10th I updated my Facebook status as follows:

Lynchsister is officially changing her name to Edna, a 60 yr old post-menopausal woman who tucks toilet paper in the wrists of her blouse; complains about her bum hip; enjoys her TUMS, cats and is most certainly keeping the footballs that land on her lawn.

Scratch Edna.  I'd like to now be referred to as Morty. 

In my naive understanding of life, 80 year old men named Morty get things like deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism, not 36 year old women. 

Several weeks ago I was diagnosed with deep vein thrombosis and put on Lovenox, an injectible medication taken every 12 hours.   Respect to anyone who has to inject themselves multiple times per day with medication.  With Lovenox, it's not the injection itself that's irritating.  The needle is pre-filled, small and sharp and the medication goes directly into the chubbiness of my lovehandles.  It's the burn that follows that can drive you mad.  Imagine my delight when I was told I could miss 3 doses for the port placement.  It felt like Christmas. 

Pulmonary Embolism. 

The pain doctors tell you to watch for wasn't the pain I experienced at all.  "Shortness of breath like you ran up the street.  If you feel that, you need to get to the ER immediately".  It was the weekend.  I woke up in the morning and felt a little spasm under my rib cage on the left side.  I'd stretch it out and it seemed to go away.  Then it got harder to breathe.  Midway through inhaling I'd hit an invisible wall of pain.  It's ER time.

My primary care physician used to play stick ball with Moses.  We'll call him Dr. P.  He has to be around 80, his pants are almost up to his neck and he still operates his office without use of computers.  I've been his patient for almost 20 years.  I'd take a bullet for that man.  He's probably the most compassionate and knowledgeable physician I've ever known.  I had no idea how revered he was at the local hospital until a pack of specialists mobbed me in the ER.  In no time I had a CT Scan, a Greenfield Filter procedure completed, and an increase in my Lovenox to 100 mgs, 2x's per day.  Thank God my blood work was normal and vitals were perfect. 

My dad came over this morning.  We sat on the couch, holding one anothers hands.  We stared out of the window, just quiet.  My husband was sleeping upstairs.  I was never so grateful to be alive.  As tears of joy poured down my cheeks, I was reminded that above all, God is in control and He chose to spare me this week. 

Matthew 19:26 - But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”