White Hostess Wonder Bread and Christmas Antipasto

Christmas Antipasto Table

 

If you're not Italian, you simply must find an Italian family, preferably one from a major City, to spend a holiday with.  It's just non-stop laughter and food from the time you walk in until the time you discretely unbutton your pants and roll out of the front door to go home. 

A few hours before the main dinner of lasagna or eggplant parmigiana and roasted meats, you'll find our family huddled around a table of exquisite savory goodies called "antipasto".  A typical antipasto table may offer imported prosciutto and cured meats; fresh buffalo mozzarella, tomato and basil; marinated mushrooms; roasted peppers and artichokes; fresh breads, crackers and cheeses; olives and tapenades.  Everything you need to give your pending food coma a solid foundation.

My Aunt Diane was one of the greatest women who ever lived.  Petite and feisty, she poured her passion for our family into her food.  She was a spectacular cook.  Of all the things she was known for, it's the curiously delicious antipasto featuring white Hostess Wonder Bread, pickles, olives and spray cheese that make Christmas, Christmas.  

We can only speculate where this concoction came from and who started making it.  A 1950's magazine ad for quick entertaining perhaps?  I doubt anyone in Calabria has ever tried it.  It's low brow baby but believe me when I tell you, this is addictive.

Here's the recipe.  You'll need:

1 jar of large pimento stuffed olives
1 jar Vlasic baby dill pickles
1 can of Kraft Easy American spray cheese
1 loaf of fresh white Hostess Wonder Bread
1 sharp knife
1 butter knife
1 rolling pin
Paper towels

1)  Take 1 slice of White Hostess Wonder Bread and remove the crust.
2)  Using the rolling pin, roll the crustless slice of white Hostess Wonder Bread completely flat.
3)  Spray a TBLS or so of the spray cheese on the flat bread and using the butter knife, spread the cheese in an even layer all over the bread.
4)  Remove a dill pickle from the jar and pat dry with a paper towel. 
5)  Place the dry pickle on one side of the flat bread.  We're going for a "jelly roll" here.  Lifting the flat bread from the pickle side, gently start a tight roll of flat bread around the pickle.
6)  Using a sharp knife, cut the roll into slices and serve.
7)  To make an olive roll, replace the pickle and line up about 3 large stuffed olives (pat dry) and follow the above mentioned instructions.

While people lament over Twinkies and Snowballs, and trust me, I'm mourning Hostess Cupcakes myself, the Lynch family's left wondering what on earth will ever replace white Hostess Wonder Bread for Christmas.  My dad's suggesting potato bread.  We'll have to experiment over the next few weeks. 

Side note:  For my NY'ers looking for a replacement for the overly processed Hostess baked goods, try the grown-up versions at Empire Cakes (formerly Lulu Cake Boutique).